My first day in Nairobi.

A story from a villager's eye. A memorable encounter with the fastest, strangest people and thugs of Nairobi.

I was seated on a bench overlooking that drum shaped hotel (what is it called?) Mmmmh... Hilton! waiting for my friend Daniel Mwangi who invited me to the city. I interacted with my Motorola C113 till it finished fire. Then some 'good samaritan' came sat very next to me and he showed me a 'brand new'flap Nokia mobile that was so appealing to the eye of someone who never owned a better phone than a Motorola C series. ''1000 Kshs and you add me your phone''. he said and I could not believe my ears. I quickly removed my simcard and handed my phone and Shs. 1000 to him. Like lighting in the horizon, he disappeared into the fast moving Nairobi crowd. Back to my newest 'phone', I opened the back door and to my dismay, its full of ugali. I jumped so high that the lady seated next to me screamed as if I have snatched her handbag. I ignored and start moving towards the direction my seller disappeared to. I went, I went, I went. Like from Narok Tuskys to Maasai mara university. All Nairobi people looked alike to me. I stopped one man who was so much the look alike of my mobile phone 'seller'. "Bring my phone and my money" the reply was... I was hit very hard on the head that I sat down counting the sand. 

So where is the direction to Nyamakima, what is Mwangi's phone number? 

After losing hope on my lost phone, money and my crazy friend's phone number, I decided to trace Nyamakima; the bus stop to my village and the only option remaining! as well as trying to see if there is a familiar face in the crowd. None!

One spectacular thing about Nairobi is the way people move towards one direction as if something has suddenly occurred so they are rushing to feed their eyes. I decided to follow one crowd to see what has happened... I went; I went and went up to where cars seem to be racing around a circle. I thought this should be what people were coming to see because they all abruptly stood to watch the cars race in the circle(I later came to learn it’s a roundabout).

The most interesting part was the policeman talking to cars in sign language. He could raise his hand and all the cars stopped.He could wave them and they start racing! Oh my, I shouted tapping the shoulder of a stranger. “This is one of the magics my grandpa didn't tell me in his sweet stories". What? He asked. But he immediately rushed to cross the edge of the circle after the cars stopped on one side. I returned to sit on some shed written Kiwi to admire the race.

I didn't realize I had dozed off;when I woke up it was partially dark. Jeez... Daniel Mwangi's phone number was still missing in my memory.. to hell with that guy who hit me on the head.. "May he go to hell on foot". I seriously cursed. So where will I sleep?...

I bent down to tie my loose shoe string. I noticed there is some dry cowdung on my shoe soles; that sparked the urge to go home. I was so home sick that I felt nauseated. Here I am in Nairobi and I do not even know the direction to the bus stop. I rose up and as if they were waiting for me, all the lights went on making Nairobi brighter at dusk more than I ever imagined in my wildest dreams.

I thought like a man and walked to someone standing metres away from the shed I was. I stretched my hand to greet him but he avoided me as if I was an Ebola carrier. I was shocked. I pressed on and approached the one coming towards me who looked a bit friendly but before the word excuse me could come out he sensed and he also avoided me. I learnt that courtesy in Nairobi is only in hotels and supermarkets. I swore not to talk to any nairobian unless I am at the point of death and that should be to give them the phone number of my relatives. I must find direction to Nyamakima now. But the direction to it remains a puzzle. I remembered when we were young when cows got lost and we had to hurriedly find them or else we face it rough. The saliva magic! I gathered as much saliva in my mouth as I could; I put a spitful on my palm and hit them hard with my index finger. The magic is I must follow the direction the largest amount of saliva jumped towards. So I followed, I went up to where I have to cross the circle not the one I was watching cars racing on but a very far one. There were many people waiting for the race to stop. We waited and eventually the moment came. We crossed but reaching the middle I dreaded the sight of an approaching car and I stopped. Amazingly everyone else crossed including school children. How can I be such a coward, a warrior? All the other cars started coming and I was caught in the middle. I shook like a dry leaf in the storm. All cars rang bells so loud that I became partially deaf at that particular point in time.

How I was carried by the policeman to the side of the road remains a story for another day. I again cursed the man who stole my money and my motorola c113.

I must wake up from this horror dream. I pinched myself just to confirm I am awake. Yes I was.